Live Your Life With Prosperity and Success

“Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha

I can’t count high enough to number the people in my in my seminars who have a “please forgive me” way of thinking”

Yet scientific evidence has clearly demonstrated that it is the person who chooses to hold on to bitterness and the please forgive me attitude who pays the price…not the perpetrator. Little by little, your feelings about that person bleed into the rest of your life, negatively coloring your view of other people and your please forgive me attitude gets worse. It’s like dropping one drop of red ink into a beaker; soon all the water is pink. Months and years of refusing to change the please forgive me way of thinking will weaken your immune system, damage your other relationships, and robs you of psychological health and your ability to forgive yourself. Picture yourself perpetually tied to that person or a situation! Ouch! And all this stems from the please forgive me attitude, now’s the time to forgive yourself.

Forgiving yourself  is not sweeping the situation under the rug or excusing the behavior away. Forgiving yourself and other people doesn’t necessarily mean that you keep yourself in a dangerous or destructive situation. Nor does forgiving someone require a “loving” feeling.

Are you thoroughly confused? Good. It’s misconceptions like the need to hold on to your “please forgive me” way of thinking that have kept many from reclaiming their own lives.

So what is forgiveness? I recently heard a great definition from Dr. Charles Stanley: “Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.”

Dropping the “please forgive me” attitude and learning to forgive yourself  is a decision and a choice. It’s a deep personal and spiritual transaction in which you choose to let go of plans or fantasies of revenge, and to release yourself from the burden of psychologically or physically “evening the score” or “laying blame” and holding negative thoughts about yourself.  Someone wisely said, “If you’re always trying to get even, you’ll never get ahead.”

Sometimes instead of asking others “please forgive me” maybe reconciliation with the person is better, and sometimes it’s not. If the other person is willing, you may be able discuss what happened and make mutual plans for a better relationship in the future. (Caution: Avoid the holier-than-thou approach, like “Being perfect and full of grace myself, I forgive you, you horrible person, for the things you did to hurt me!” or the “I’m not worthy of living and will you please forgive me”. Be sure that you’re willing to take responsibility for the part you played in the problem.)

In other situations, reconciliation of the relationship is not possible. Maybe the other person refuses to change or comprimise, and the truth is, if you totally let down your guard, the same thing will happen all over again. It may be that the person you need to forgive is not even alive and you find yourself during quite time thinking thoughts of “please forgive me” to the person who has passed on. Sometimes, you simply have to do business internally, between you and (Infinite Intelligence) God.

Will you feel better immediately? Maybe. But it will take some effort to transform your way of thinking from a “please forgive me” attitude and develop the strength to forgive yourself. In fact you may find yourself in an emotional battle that causes you to question whether you really have forgiven yourself. Don’t get drawn into a mental rehash of all the negative things that happened. No, immediately focus on the positive decision you made to change the “please forgive me” way of thinking to thoughts of power, greatness, and ability, and remind yourself that after the decision comes the process of emotional healing. (Asking for divine help about how certainly won’t hurt!)

What about forgetting? If you don’t forget, have you really forgiven yourself or others? I disagree with many on this. I believe that as a human with a brain that is a super-recorder, you will have a physical memory of the events, even when you’ve truly forgiven. So don’t tell yourself that if you still remember what happened, you must not have done it right.

The crux of the “forgetting” matter is this: are you choosing to remember, to internally rehearse the situation over and over, and to watch and wait for the person to experience “what goes ‘round comes ‘round”? If so, go on back to your “forgiveness closet”, because you have some more work to do.

Thomas Fuller said, “He that cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself, for every man has a need to be forgiven.”

Do yourself and all those you love a favor…release those thoughts of the “please forgive me” attitude that have harmed you and begin to heal and forgive yourself. As you do, you will release your True Great Self. To transform your way of thinking and springboard yourself to happiness, success, and wealth Click Here!